Come out of the F.O.G.

In case you needed it, here’s a personal invitation to come out of the F.O.G. when it comes to your piano journey.

That is, to let go of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt.

Fear often presents itself as a resistance to try new things. We might recognize that we’re afraid of making mistakes, but more often what we’re really afraid of it what our mistakes might mean about us — that we’re perhaps untalented, lazy, or not worth very much.

But here’s the thing: you’re amazing just the way you are! Nothing that you can or cannot do at the piano will ever change that. You will never lose your amazingness. In fact, you can only grow in your amazingness, and this is done by trying new things. So go ahead and experiment!

Obligation shows up when we start to mould our practice routine around what we think we ought to do rather than what we want to do. That could mean learning songs you don’t really care about or practicing based on what you think qualifies you as a “real” musician rather than thinking about what works best for you.

The truth is, however, that it’s not the regularity or duration of practice that makes the musician, but the quality of attention given to that practice. And every time your attention is focused on appearing to be a good musician, you’re taking it away from what really matters: building a positive relationship with your piano.

Pro-tip on beating obligation: Be on the lookout for when the word “should” pops up in your decision-making. The word “should” often designates a decision you’re about to make is based on conforming to other people’s standards.

Guilt appears when we don’t meet the expectations we set for ourselves and feel bad about it. What’s interesting, though, is that Guilt tends to show up when the goals we set for ourselves were created out of Fear and Obligation.

Failing at a goal created out of joy feels very different!

When my students fail to meet goals that they set out of joy and abundance, they never feel guilt — they might feel disappointed but usually they actually feel energized to try again! Because their goal is an exciting one! If you’re feeling Guilt around your piano journey, it’s usually a sign that Fear and Obligation are hiding in your mind somewhere.

We don’t want Fear, Obligation, or Guilt anywhere near our piano!

So come out of the F.O.G.

Play for joy instead!